Ein is a member of

Smoosh, and the third to join. At 74 years old, he is the second oldest member of Smoosh, with Sir Rustynuts being the first.


His mother was a nurse, and his father ran an insane asylum, at which he was also a patient. This eventually resulted in Ein becoming a psychotic surgeon at the age of 27, and having worked in the profession ever since.


Ein is a bit of a pervert, though he turns down other women's advances due to already being in a relationship with Wendy Oldbag. As a doctor, it's his duty to heal the others, but he gets angry when others do his job for him. He acts almost fatherly towards Chompy.

Weapons and AbilitiesEdit

First and foremost, Ein's primary weapon is Chompy, a sentient hand-puppet resembling a pair of dentures. Chompy was originally used by a good friend of Ein's, who was also his family dentist, to show his patients how to properly brush one's teeth, but now he is used to hurt you. Badly. Sometime during the events of the Insane Quest, but possibly even before hand, Chompy was exposed to radiation, giving him the Kirby-esque ability to copy the abilities of people and weapons by licking them. For example, if he were to lick a gun, he would gain a gun-tongue that allowed him to shoot bullets, if he licked a sword, he would gain a sword-tongue, and so on. After licking an object, the new weapon Chompy aquires becomes a permanent addition to his arsenal, making Chompy essentially a weaponized swiss army knife.

Ein also has access to a ninja costume obtained from the Kingdom of Smelly Grapefruit, which the doctor modified by attatching a miniature Fountain of Youth obtained from the Infinite Trophy Case on the inside. When the costume is worn, the fountain's magic water is pumped directly into Ein's bloodstream, temporarily giving him ninja-like speed and agility despite his age.

In addition, Ein also has access to a number of different surgical implements, being a doctor. These incude, but are not limited to, syringes, pills, poisons [Used in the correct dosage, they can obtain curative properties.], etc. He also has a collection of small blades of various types, which are secretly an army with wishes to "slice apart the sixty-nine worlds, and rule each with an iron fist!" They are led by the notorious Lt. Sgt. Cnl. General Admiral Private Pizza Cutter, basically one of those circular saw blades on a handle, who acts quite similar to a lovechild of Chef Gordon Ramsey and Famous European Dictator Arnold Schwartzeneger Adolf Hitler, with an accent to match. He also has two googly eyes which are like a chameleon's, and facial features of the aforementioned Austrian, including the SQUARE MUSTACHE OF EVIL!


  • Ein was inspired by Dr. Hotti of the Phoenix Wright game series.
  • Despite being known as "psychotic," Ein doesn't generally show the signs of someone such as Jack the Ripper, but instead acts more like he is permanently anesthesized, like his inspiration.
  • Ein's world of origin is unknown
  • Ein and Chompy's Doosh Counterparts are Nurse Nie Algaewood, a very sexy French Maid, and her sentient eyeball puppet Blinky, who has the same powers as Chompy, except all her weapons are ultra-reality holograms, which she collects via staring endlessly at her target.
  • Ein is well-known for his special scrapbooks, which consist simply of endless pages of nude women, obtained via an X-Ray through-your-clothes camera. The highlight images are of his alleged girlfriend, Wendy Oldbag, which are uses as weapons because they cause your eyes to bleed